First, it is not the first time I’ve been frustrated, but it sure feels like it. Unfortunately, my patience has been lacking a bit lately. And, unfortunately, the holiday crunch makes it even worse. Events, demands, memories – good, bad, joyful, sorrowful. It will eventually come crashing down on one. Today, for me, was that morning. I saw my own sinfulness and failures in a very acute way. As I reflected, it reminded me of the ordeals of Christ, with the difference that his anger was not sinful. Look especially at Mark 11 – there you have the “Cleansing of the Temple. Verse 17 seems to sum it up: They just don’t get it. You can sense the frustration, the anger at the defamation of God’s house. Here, it makes sense. At home, it doesn’t.
This morning, my children were being just that: children. Loud, boisterous, energetic, playful. But I needed them to be a bit quieter, compliant, obedient and focused. We had a schedule to keep and a short time in which to do it. And the culmination of the schedule was Daddy getting to work. For me, that’s pressure. Additionally, during my first shot of SM’s Monkey Blend my machine ran out of water, leaving a short, sour shot. My second went a bit too long – no enjoyment there. And that’s all I time to do. No good coffee, non-compliant children, and a ever-shortening timeline. Needless to say, I lost it.
But it hits later today that God doesn’t do to me what I did to my kids: he takes me as I am, works slowly to change me. I should know that by now: I’m a slow changer and I know it. It seems as if I go kicking and screaming through sanctification. But I am going. And my little ones would have to, but not on my time. I need to realize that sometimes, I need to slow down a bit, be a little late, enjoy my family, and enjoy my God forever. Pray that I can learn more to do just that.
Solo Deo Gloria,